self-portraits & sushi

I’ve been putting this post off.  To be honest, based on my mood right now I probably shouldn’t be writing it either, but oh well.  You’re getting a very honest and real Sarah today, folks.  Hold onto your butts.

A little over a month ago I wrote a blog post about my goals for the next 30-days.  I’m afraid to tell you I was unsuccessful with almost all of them.  I was 100% on my macros and I followed my lifting program.  But everything else?  Nada.  My weight didn’t move even an inch.  After a year of success, followed by 30 days of diet and exercise compliance that resulted in NOTHING…yeah, kinda depressing.

Now, we’re changing up some things and the next two weeks in particular will be a very, very hard reset.  Everything about me is out of whack and I’m not really sure why.  So yes, there is a plan in place and we’ll figure this out.  I will not feel this way forever.  That is the only positive thing coming out of this blog post.

I’ve been taking this photography class in my free time.  I’ve got several road trips on the docket for this year and I want to be on the top of my game remembering the gorgeous things I’m going to get to see and experience.  One of the exercises I’m asked to complete in this class is daily self-portraits.  No, I’m not talking about selfies.  Ok, I guess they are sort of selfies but a lot more difficult to grab.  I took my self-portraits today and decided to get a lot more of my body and not just my face.  Let me give you a word of advice.  When you’re already feeling REALLY down about your appearance, DON’T DO A SELF-PORTRAIT.

Despite how I’m sure this entire post is coming across, this is not a pity or a woe is me post.  I’m just…down.  I’ve had lots of ups.  I’ve had so many ups that it’s hard to talk to you from the valley of the down.

Professionally I was brilliant this week.  I turned my introvert switch off; I sparkled and shined and glowed in my role.  It was very, very…up.  And now I am not.

So tonight I’m watching old Grey’s Anatomy and eating sushi I bought at the grocery store earlier today.   Earlier today I updated apps on my computer and I cleaned out the cabinet in my office.  Maybe I’ll start a new book before bed.  These are all happy things.  So maybe I’m ending this post better than how it started.  🙂

TODAY I LOVE: the smell of grapefruit essential oils being diffused

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