someone has turned on the lights.

7N5A6146My grandmother just had cataract surgery in both of her eyes.  After she got out of the surgery she immediately said, “It is like someone has turned on all the lights!”  I love that.  It is also how I feel right now.  Now that the emotional and dark cloud of April has passed, now that I’ve mostly dealt with lingering emotional baggage, it’s as if someone has turned on all the lights.  Everything is brighter.  Everything is blooming.  Everything has possibility.

Before I move on to new things, I’d be remiss to not thank my dear, dear friends for getting me through a dark period.  I won’t list them; you know who you are.  They diligently tried to keep me focused, always tried to keep me smiling, and became the master of distractions when I needed it.  April was just HARD.  A lot of things that I’d apparently buried and kept swallowed since the divorce resurfaced and I had to deal with them.  I know it had to be frustrating for everyone in my life.  I’m sure you all were asking yourselves the question, “WHY WON’T SHE JUST GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON IT. IS. THE. PAST?!”  Yeah well, I asked myself the same thing.  So there.  But I’m happy to report I’m in a much better place right now.

I have so much to look forward to the remainder of this year! I’m moving into a cute house in a great old neighborhood with my bestie soul sister.  I’m going to Kauai with my fella and his family.  Plus lots of work stuff (that I could turn into very stressful things but I’m going to choose to see it as opportunities to make myself even more awesome.)  <- (Remind me about this statement later on in the year when I’m so stressed I can’t think straight.)

Lastly, as you’ve probably figured out from the last several months I WANTED to be super dedicated to my diet and fitness but I just…haven’t.  It’s embarrassing to say it but it’s true.  I’ve gained back a bit of what I lost last year and I’ve let emotions (see above) rule me for far too long this year.  Today started a new attack.  I’ve got 113 days until Kauai.  That, my friends, is a challenge I’m ready to pounce on.  I think I’ve finally regained the inner motivation and discipline I had the entirety of last year.  It is the only way this is going to work; no one can do it for me.  I’m goal driven and 113 days is an ending within sight.  I won’t make any promises right now because I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Sarah, you’ve said all these things before.”  True.  Just watch and see.  If Kauai wasn’t enough motivation I’m moving in with my friend and that means ANOTHER CLOSET OF CLOTHES.  I’m going to fit into her clothes if it kills me.

Happies.  Goals.  New environments.  Smiles.  Sunny weather.  Pretty flowers.

Someone has turned on the lights.

TODAY I LOVE: the color they painted on my toes last week…it’s called cerulean sea

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