ewwww, david. no.

(from Life.Church)

Do any of you have any phrases that you say to yourself just out of habit? I do. It’s usually under my breath, and almost always after I’ve done something dumb or I’m overwhelmed. It is always, “Oh my goodness, Sarah. What in the world.” (Not a question, just a statement.) I have said that a LOT lately. I also keep repeating Alexis’ line from Schitt’s Creek, “Ewwww, David. No!” almost anytime I have to do something I don’t want to.

To start, some updates. So far the infection has been gone for 1 week, and even with constant rechecks it hasn’t returned. H-O-O-R-A-Y. That’s the good news. The bad, the scar tissue on my cornea is just horrid. I think I’ve finally found the perfect description of what it is like. Imagine trying to look through 6 pieces of saran wrap (cling film). Everything is warped and distorted. Driving is awful and brings me a lot of anxiety every time I have to get behind the wheel. But I’m making it, adapting, learning how to groove with what I have. Our bodies are kind of amazing. I’m not sure the timeframe on all the healing I have remaining, I just keep being told to have patience. As any woman knows, being told to “Calm down and relax” is almost always going to give you a very different reaction. ūüôā

Elimination diet…haven’t talked about it for a while. I had made it through the full 9 weeks having concluded that food is not the cause of my discomfort. I did, however, glean some pretty great info on foods that DO cause some kind of reaction in me. Because of that, and because I was just so used to the diet by that point, I kept it up and I’m still staying pretty close to it even now. I eat very little grains/gluten. Very little legumes. Very little dairy (only some hard cheese…I told you I love cheese.) Little to no eggs. I will forgo all of these rules at Thanksgiving because there are just some things you get at holidays that you can’t enjoy any other time throughout the year.

So what am I doing now? I’m trying to smile every day. I’m surrounding myself with people who care about me. I’m not running outside yet due to the eye (depth perception is not great at all), but I’m doing yoga and loving it. I’m not sitting home alone every night. I’m putting myself out there and allowing vulnerability in a variety of ways. I’m intentionally trying hard to be encouraging to others. I often am reminded of the Brandi Carlile lyrics in one of my favorite of her songs, “do I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?” I even have that on a t-shirt. ūüôā

This weekend I heard the phrase, “A waiting season is not a wasted season.” Oh so true! All of this is going to add up to something…and it might be where I am currently. Like I’ve said over and over the course of this year…I have to be ok with where I am, otherwise the human in us is only going to see the darkness and how far we still have to go. Where I am now, EVEN WITH MY JANKY BROKEN EYE, is better than where I was. Every single time someone tells me, “You are different.” I am smiling. Because I am.

TODAY I LOVE: The Netflix show “Schitts Creek.” I LOVE THIS SHOW.
SONG OF THE DAY: “That Wasn’t Me” by Brandi Carlile

My 39th year

Hello hello! We are at the END of September. Can you believe that?! I certainly can’t. I keep saying it over and over, but I can’t really believe how fast it feels this year is flying by. Before I know it we will be celebrating Christmas and then the arrival of 2020. C-R-A-Z-Y.

I’m sitting here doing a little bit of prep work for the coming week; it’s going to be pretty busy one for me. On top of the normal month end / quarter end / reporting that comes with an old month and a new month, I’ll be busy prepping for an even busier week following this one. So as I’m sitting here sketching out some plans to make it all happen, I’ve somewhat drifted to the personal side of things. This week I will celebrate my 39th trip around the sun. C-R-A-Z-Y.

Birthdays aren’t really a big thing to me anymore. It’s really just another day. (It’s a day I can have a cupcake with literally no shame.). They do, however, make you take stock of where you’ve been and where you’re headed. For the first time in many years and months, I really like the direction I’m going. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t remotely how I thought my life was going to be. It isn’t what you plan when you’re fresh out of high school or college. But I believe there is a purpose for all of it. The best is definitely yet to come.

So I’m making some goals for the month of October, month #1 of year 39. Some of them are ambitious and will challenge me. Some of them are “minimums” just to get me in the habit of doing some new things. All of them will make me a better Sarah for whatever my future holds.

I challenge you to set a few goals for this coming month. Strive and stretch and grow and reach. What else can we accomplish by the end of this year?

TODAY I LOVE: kettle corn from the fall festival
SONG OF THE DAY: “A Safe Place to Land” by Sara Bareilles

random friday stuff: vol 7

Hello, my friends! Is everyone putting on their favorite music and having a mini dance party? No? Just me? Give it a try. I guarantee you’ll smile: if not out of happiness then at your pure silliness.

Here are some random things I’m stewing on this week:

  • I cannot stop listening to all things Foy Vance. If you like folk/blues/rock you’d love him. Go ahead and check him out!
  • My birthday is next week and I’m already thinking about some kind of treat I will allow myself. If you can’t break the elimination diet for cake on your birthday THEN WHAT CAN YOU BREAK IT FOR?! It will probably make me feel miserable, but I will suffer for the cause.
  • I haven’t run much at all this week due to falling in a hole while on a run Monday morning. I was oh so graceful. I rolled my ankle and then hit the ground. It’s been bruised most of the week but it’s going down now. All that to say, I’ve missed it! I’m looking forward to getting back out there and setting some goals for October. I’d like to be able to go more than 3 miles without sounding like a dying cow. ūüôā
  • All my reading friends don’t throw things at me, but I’m FINALLY getting around to reading “The Nightingale” by Kristin Hannah. I know, I know, I’m very late to the party.
  • Jeans that are too big are just as awful as jeans that are too tight. Right now I’m in the middle of every size of jean I own. I’ve also learned that high-waisted skinny jeans are likely what it felt like to be wearing a full-body corset.
  • I’m still thinking about the Downton Abbey movie. I want to go see it again. Yes, it’s pure fluff. But unlike so many movies and tv shows you see these days, you leave it light-hearted and smiling. I’ll take some more of that please.

Ok, that’s enough for today. I hope everyone has a splendid weekend!

TODAY I LOVE: the tiny pink pineapple lamp I have in my kitchen
SONG OF THE DAY: “Unlike Any Other” by Foy Vance

random friday stuff: vol 4

Hiyo! Things have been way to depressing lately. ¬†All around. ¬†Let’s talk about all the things that are making me happy these days.

  1. Downton Abbey.  When it was on originally I never got past the finale of Season 3.  No spoilers but it was DEVASTATING to me.  So I stopped.  I decided to pick it up again and get past that fateful episode.  I want to start calling it luncheon instead of lunch.  And I really want to wear their gowns.
  2. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. For my birthday last year my super awesome fella got me a Nintendo Switch and this game! ¬†First off, having never really owned a major gaming system, this thing is amazing. ¬†I love it. ¬†That should also tell you I’M TERRIBLE. ¬†But you guys it is so fun. ¬†This game is gorgeous. ¬†You can wander around as you please and explore. ¬†And if you are me, you die quite a lot. ¬†I’m glad I’ve been able to get into the game and even though I’m terrible I’m slowly learning.
  3. Nayyirah Waheed. ¬†Her poetry is LIFE. ¬†I’m a bit obsessed with her lately and have wanted her book Salt but it is super hard to find.
  4. New music from Leon Bridges and Ray LaMontagne. ¬†Oh, and I still can’t stop playing new music from Brandi Carlile and The Secret Sisters (both of whom are playing TOGETHER in Kansas City in June and I want to go so bad it hurts.)
  5. Sea Otters.  While I was in California with my guy a few weeks ago we went to Monterey, CA for a day.  We had dinner at an awesome restaurant right on the bay.  There was a sea otter swimming and hunting right there in the water next to us!!  It was one of the most magical settings and lovely moments.  I still think of it often.
  6. Skin Care. ¬†To say that I’ve become obsessed with skin care and anti-aging would be the understatement of the year. ¬†I’m not sure when I turned the corner of not caring to completely obsessed, but I’m here. ¬†I’ve been using Drunk Elephant products exclusively for the last year now and they are FANTASTIC. ¬†However now I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of K-Beauty and I’m going to add (what feels like) 20 more steps to my process. ¬†As I find things I love I’ll keep you posted. ¬†The constant quest to not look my age is a real thing.
  7. Lastly…for a funny. ¬†My grandma celebrated her 80th birthday a few weeks ago. ¬†We had a little dinner party for her. ¬†This was me trying to drive all the balloons I purchased home (an hour and a half drive.) ¬†I really overshot what would fit in my car. ¬†IMG_2117

TODAY I LOVE: peanut butter (I really need to not buy it. ¬†It’s too good.)

second breakfast

This post is not going to be about breakfast. ¬†But seriously though…who’s with me on the love of breakfast? ¬†Especially SECOND breakfast? ¬†Yum. ¬†I’m pretty certain second breakfast is my most looked forward to meal of the day.

Thanks for all the positivity and love shown toward my last rather depressing post. ¬†It was not one of my finest moments. ¬†One of my goals with this blog was to be real and I think you’re getting that. ¬†Right or wrong, love or hate, we are not always the happy and polished versions of ourselves. ¬†I mean…I’m currently writing this post under the influence of muscle relaxers and camomile tea, no makeup, and hair that is mostly dry shampoo at this point in the week. ¬†What’s the phrase or tagline the hipsters use these days for things? ¬†I’m currently…rustic? ¬†Authentic? Without ornamentation? ¬†Whatever. ¬†You get my point. ¬†REAL.

This week has been a real treat. ¬† It was as if the universe was like, “Oh Sarah. ¬†Silly you. ¬†You only THINK you’re depressed. ¬†Let’s add a bit more to the pile.” ¬†Enter stage left: migraine. ¬†I’ve had it ALL WEEK. ¬†If you’re one of those unicorn humans that do not get headaches or migraines well yay you. ¬†You don’t know the excruciating pain that your head becomes. ¬†I think I would have gladly paid someone to stab a crowbar through my right eye Walking Dead style. ¬†MAKE IT END.

Before going to my primary care physician (who is great, I like him a lot) and pay loads of money for tests I’m not even sure I needed, I went to my favorite place; my chiropractor. ¬†I know everyone has really strong feelings one way or another in regards to chiropractic care. ¬†I’m very much on the PRO side because they have helped me in ways I can’t even describe.

Anyway, yesterday I went in for a medical massage, an adjustment, and a general once-over to see if they could discern any reason for my migraine. ¬†And they did. ¬†I could try to go into all of it here, but I’m not a medical professional and I was listening to everything they were telling me through a haze of pain. ¬†If I tried to retell it to you now I’m guaranteed to get it wrong. ¬† Long story short: I had a whole bunch of stuff messed up in my neck, a bunch of stuff goofy at the base of my skull, some other funky stuff in my first rib and right pec muscle…all muscle and nerve mess. ¬†Oh and apparently my detox from dairy this week has also contributed. ¬†Who knew?

Anyway, the point of this post is to give a digital shout-out to my favorite homies in town: Drs Eric and Tania Reavis at A Hip Joint. ¬†They really treat the whole YOU not just parts and pieces. ¬†They take their time, listen, educate, and you definitely get the vibe that they care about you feeling better. ¬†I’ve been going to them for the last several years now and cannot recommend them enough. ¬†If you live in my area I’d urge you to give them a try. ¬†If you don’t live here – seek out a great chiropractic doctor. ¬†We are HELL on our bodies. ¬†You’d be surprised how much better you can feel in your daily life, sans medication, just by getting yourself in balance. ¬†Give it a try!

TODAY I LOVE: a great blue pen that is felt tip but doesn’t bleed through the page

I took this photo at sunset in Colorado Springs a few years ago. ¬†It has no real relevance to this post other than I’ve enjoyed looking back on this photo this week. ¬†It reminds me a new day is coming. ¬†

all things may

We are almost halfway through this year. ¬†I hate that my mom was right, that time really does go faster the older you get. ¬†So yeah, May is over (one more day anyway.) ¬†Let’s see how this month broke down for me:

HEALTH: I’m happy to report I was 100% on my macros everyday. ¬†I was never over, although there were a few days that I was under. ¬†I didn’t miss a single mandatory workout (lifting), and only missed one barre class from my bonus workouts. ¬†Win! And it paid off: since the end of January I’m down 21 pounds and 23 inches. ¬†I haven’t starved myself and I don’t workout hours and hours everyday. ¬†The actual scale number is slowing down in it’s decreases, but I’m getting muscle and it looks so much better. ¬†I’m happy with it.

For grins, I almost 100% cut out gluten during the month. ¬†(I still maintained eating my Ezekiel bread every morning. ¬†Not giving that up.) ¬†Other than that, I was gluten free. ¬†I really wanted to see if it made any difference in my belly bloat. ¬†It taught me a couple of things. First, I really don’t eat that much gluten to begin with. ¬†It wasn’t hard to not eat it. ¬†Second, I had very thin crust pizza last night (yes, I considered May over for the most part starting yesterday), and it made my food belly (that I’ve affectionately named Ethel) go CRAZY. ¬†Hello bloat city. ¬†All that said, I think I’m going to try to maintain little gluten/wheat when I have other options available. ¬† Because it did prove to me that it does make me puff up like a fish.

I did get the best compliment this morning. ¬†Two girls who are not regulars at the gym came up to me as I was lifting. ¬†They told me they hadn’t been in in a while and it’s been a bit since they’d seen me. ¬†And they said I looked amazing! ¬†Asked me how much I’d lost and said they could really tell I was working hard. ¬†Anyway, it was so great to hear! ¬†Onward to June. ¬†ūüôā

RANDOM: ¬†Let’s see…I got my hair done. ¬†Only a trim off the ends, but went another step towards my blonde goal. ¬†To all of you naysayers out there, it really is lighter! ¬†I can prove it. ¬†My hair is so dark it takes a long time to get to blonde. ¬† As far as other beauty stuff, I’ve watched way too many makeup tutorials because now I keep wanting to dip my toe in these strange eye combinations. ¬†Today I’m wearing navy and gold. ¬†Yep. ¬†It is disappointing to report that my eyebrows are still hopeless. ¬†I’m not giving up.

Ok, so my hair isn’t fixed in either photo (ignore that). ¬†And also ignore the fact that in the second photo I’m getting ready for bed and have no make up and my glasses on. ¬†Hey, real life folks. ¬†You can’t ALWAYS be a beauty queen. ¬†ūüôā¬†

I’m totally and completely obsessed with blackberries right now. The fruit, not the phone. ¬†Cannot. Get. Enough.

I’ve read 3 books and am currently diving back into the Tudor dynasty as written by the awesome Philippa¬†Gregory. ¬†I think there are 8-9 books total. ¬†It’s going to take me a while.

I finished season 3 of How to Get Away with Murder.  HOLY SMOKES.  That show is on fire.  I very rarely guess how it is going to end.

Work has been crazy nut-job busy.

I think that’s enough for now. ¬†All in all, May wasn’t so bad on me. ¬†I didn’t go crazy. ¬†I didn’t blow up at anyone. ¬†I think I maybe only cried 3 times or so. ¬†That’s a win, folks.

How was your May?

TODAY I LOVE: the song “Every Monday” by Marvelous 3 (an oldie but goodie. ¬†Takes me back to college.)

random friday stuff: vol 3

Hey, hey hey…it’s Friday! ¬†Here are some things that have been keeping me giggling or interested for the last few weeks:

  • Last week I was listening to a random apple playlist while I was working. ¬†It played an OLD country song (which I never listen to) and oh my goodness. ¬†It zapped me right back to my childhood. ¬†I was raised in a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere. ¬†And yes, little Sarah even had a belt with her name on the back and boots. ¬†Anyway, that one song made me hunt up some of the other old country gems I remember hearing when I was a little, hanging out in my dad’s shop while he worked, and dancing. ¬†Should you want to listen to what I found, check it out here.
  • If you haven’t read the book to The Handmaid’s Tale, you should. ¬†You should also check out the new series on Hulu of the same name. ¬†HOLY SMOKES. ¬†First off, Elisabeth Moss is an incredible actress and she plays Offred to perfection. ¬†I’m addicted.
  • Really funny cats. ¬†I mean, come on.
  • I GET MY HAIR DONE TODAY. ¬†Yes, that statement warranted all caps. ¬†I only go every 12ish weeks and it is in desperate need of some loving TLC. ¬†My hair gal is a genius of color and I just can’t wait to let her at it. ¬†If you’re in the SGF area, you really need to check out¬†Erin Wheaton at Blu Skies Salon!
  • So I started playing the Sims again. ¬†Don’t worry, I’m a very fair ruler.
  • I’ve been cheating on coffee with hot tea every now and again. ¬†Don’t tell.
  • I’m also having a love affair with sleep. ¬†We can’t seem to get enough of each other.

TODAY I LOVE:¬†the vintage Kansas City Royals shirt I’m wearing today.