changes – creating a queen

Climbing again

It is Friday night and I’m sitting here on my sofa, having a cup of sleepy tea, and watching Grace & Frankie (again) on the TV. (Side note: I’m SO excited for Season 4 which comes out next week.) ANYWAY. I got off work this afternoon and came home and deep cleaned my living room. I tore down the Christmas tree and all the decorations. I moved all the furniture and vacuumed. I bought a lamp (also random.) All that to say, I’m super content in this spot, right this second. Which puts me in a good place to talk about something that I’m not happy about: my fitness.

A week before Christmas I messed up my back. It was AWFUL. I’m too embarrassed to say what I did, but it was a dumb thing and I’ve LEARNED MY LESSON. ANYWAY. I couldn’t bend my spine at all. I couldn’t even sit. I could only lay flat or be in terrible pain. So needless to say my workouts were not fabulous. And then I went home to my family for Christmas. And then I went to California for 2 weeks to be with my fella. My butt has not been in a gym for 3 WEEKS. It’s embarrassing. And I didn’t follow my macros over the holidays either. I wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t perfect.

Confession: I’m absolutely terrified to step on the scale. (I’m not stepping on the scale until Monday morning, but still.).

I feel bloated and chunky and lumpy and likely 10 pounds heavier.

So that’s the bad news.

The good news? I can fix it. I can fix all of it. You know why? Because last year I learned how. I can’t tell you how much that reassures me that this is all going to be fine. This year when I’m looking at my fitness and health journey it is totally different than last year. It’s kind of like carving an ice sculpture. When you get started you have to take off a whole bunch of the bulk before you can even start to shape what you’re really trying to carve. 2017 was getting rid of the excess for me. In 2018 I get to sculpt something fantastic. Isn’t that wonderful!?

I admit, I don’t like that it feels I’m starting this year behind. But you know what? I had a great Christmas and New Years and California dreams. The rest let my back heal. I just…lived for a while. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Even if it does feel like I’m starting in a deficit. Whatever I’ve gained will come back off. I’ve proven I can do it.

So with that said…tomorrow I go back to the gym with my best girl. Good things to come.

TODAY I LOVE: my Filimin lantern

all things may

We are almost halfway through this year. I hate that my mom was right, that time really does go faster the older you get. So yeah, May is over (one more day anyway.) Let’s see how this month broke down for me:

HEALTH: I’m happy to report I was 100% on my macros everyday. I was never over, although there were a few days that I was under. I didn’t miss a single mandatory workout (lifting), and only missed one barre class from my bonus workouts. Win! And it paid off: since the end of January I’m down 21 pounds and 23 inches. I haven’t starved myself and I don’t workout hours and hours everyday. The actual scale number is slowing down in it’s decreases, but I’m getting muscle and it looks so much better. I’m happy with it.

For grins, I almost 100% cut out gluten during the month. (I still maintained eating my Ezekiel bread every morning. Not giving that up.) Other than that, I was gluten free. I really wanted to see if it made any difference in my belly bloat. It taught me a couple of things. First, I really don’t eat that much gluten to begin with. It wasn’t hard to not eat it. Second, I had very thin crust pizza last night (yes, I considered May over for the most part starting yesterday), and it made my food belly (that I’ve affectionately named Ethel) go CRAZY. Hello bloat city. All that said, I think I’m going to try to maintain little gluten/wheat when I have other options available. Because it did prove to me that it does make me puff up like a fish.

I did get the best compliment this morning. Two girls who are not regulars at the gym came up to me as I was lifting. They told me they hadn’t been in in a while and it’s been a bit since they’d seen me. And they said I looked amazing! Asked me how much I’d lost and said they could really tell I was working hard. Anyway, it was so great to hear! Onward to June. 🙂

RANDOM: Let’s see…I got my hair done. Only a trim off the ends, but went another step towards my blonde goal. To all of you naysayers out there, it really is lighter! I can prove it. My hair is so dark it takes a long time to get to blonde. As far as other beauty stuff, I’ve watched way too many makeup tutorials because now I keep wanting to dip my toe in these strange eye combinations. Today I’m wearing navy and gold. Yep. It is disappointing to report that my eyebrows are still hopeless. I’m not giving up.

Ok, so my hair isn’t fixed in either photo (ignore that). And also ignore the fact that in the second photo I’m getting ready for bed and have no make up and my glasses on. Hey, real life folks. You can’t ALWAYS be a beauty queen. 🙂

I’m totally and completely obsessed with blackberries right now. The fruit, not the phone. Cannot. Get. Enough.

I’ve read 3 books and am currently diving back into the Tudor dynasty as written by the awesome Philippa Gregory. I think there are 8-9 books total. It’s going to take me a while.

I finished season 3 of How to Get Away with Murder. HOLY SMOKES. That show is on fire. I very rarely guess how it is going to end.

Work has been crazy nut-job busy.

I think that’s enough for now. All in all, May wasn’t so bad on me. I didn’t go crazy. I didn’t blow up at anyone. I think I maybe only cried 3 times or so. That’s a win, folks.

How was your May?

TODAY I LOVE: the song “Every Monday” by Marvelous 3 (an oldie but goodie. Takes me back to college.)

Month 3 Update

If you follow me on twitter or instagram then you’ve already read these results, but it’s worth elaborating. April was a challenge for me.

This past Saturday marked exactly 3 months to the day I began this new fitness journey. In those 3 months I’ve lost 16.5 pounds and a total (whole body cumulative) of 21 inches. It’s un-freaking-believable. If you’re just looking at total number of pounds, it’s really not that much over this length of time. Back in the day when I would calorie restrict and go nutso on cardio I’d drop weight a lot faster. But, as I’ve said all along, I’m trying to do it right this time. Long term. Lifestyle change. No more yo-yo.

I really can’t get over the inches. Yes, even that has slowed down this last month, but it’s still changing. Muscle is my new drug. And it is very addicting.

Admittedly, April was hard for me. I had some traveling and I kinda put myself in cruise control far too many days. I’ve set some attainable goals for May and I’m kind of excited to see what changes they bring in my 4-month update. I’m ready to push myself again and be one step closer to that sexy summer confident body.

I’m ready to get stronger physically, mentally, and most of all emotionally. Even as I write these great numbers I’m really struggling emotionally with some nasties right now. I’m ready to work those things out too.

Work in progress is a good thing, on all fronts. Who knows what the finished product will be?!

TODAY I LOVE: 80’s movie ballads (yep, singing at the top of my lungs)