I am not skinny … but …

I have worked so hard these last couple of weeks in the gym. I’m pushing myself in my lifts and I’ve added “bonus” cardio everyday. And guess what? My weight hasn’t changed. I’ve gone up and down the same 3lbs for almost 3 weeks now. I’ve stayed within my macros and I’ve turned down cupcakes and donuts and Chick-fil-a. (WHOA.) I’ve vacillated between being depressed about it all and being ok.

This morning while I was in the gym I was thinking about it all. Today was a “heavy” lift day. And as I was standing there, continuing to add plates to the bar, and looking at myself in the mirror, I was content?

Here’s why: I might not be skinny and I might very well be considered overweight. BUT

I took this after the gym this morning. I added the flare to disguise the dirty mirror. πŸ™‚ It’s not an awesome picture; it isn’t flattering. But this is the body I have today, and it is strong.
  • Today I leg-pressed 495lbs (11 plates) and probably could have kept going.
  • Last week I was able to squat 215 pounds for four reps on my sixth set! That’s been my heaviest on squats in months and months.
  • I held a plank for *almost* 2 minutes today. That’s huge for me!
  • This body has allowed me to conquer the stair machine over and over this week. Hundreds of floors climbed.
  • This body is well enough to tend my own yard (mowing and trimming) without any help.

This body might not be skinny, and it might very well be overweight, but it is strong. It is able. It is healthy. And I’m doing my best to love it. To love what it is now and not what I think it needs to be. To love what it can DO.

That’s where I am today. I might be sad again tomorrow that my skinny jeans are still tight, but I’m writing this post to remind me of how I feel TODAY. I need more todays.

TODAY I LOVE: Alo Yoga capris
SONG OF THE DAY: “Redesigning Women” by The HighWomen

peace like welcome rain

Good morning, friends and Happy Sunday! It’s raining here in Missouri, again. I’m pretty sure it’s been raining for the last 6 months. It has been the weirdest year here in the midwest. Lately I’ve been so grumpy when it rains. Now that I’m living alone and yard duties are mine, every time it rains the very first thought that goes through my mind is “That damn yard is just gonna grow faster.” But today, well, today I’m pretty amazingly content.

Lots of happenings this week and for once I’m sitting here on a Sunday looking at all of them positively! I haven’t felt well for quite some time but haven’t been able to put my finger on what it might be. After a lengthy visit with my chiropractor (but they are basically my everything doctor because they fix everything and I trust them with my life) I think he might be on a path to figuring out what’s going on. I won’t go into it all here, because I’m likely to type it up all wrong and some of you real medical professionals will yell at me for misinterpretation. So – let’s just leave it at I’m changing some things from my diet and eliminating others. I also need less stress, but if any of you have more ideas on how to fix that I’m open. All that to say, I’m not fixed, but maybe I’m now on a path to an answer. Make sense?

I was also super brave this week and left the Sarah Cave. And guess what!? I met new people. And it was amazing. I want to talk more about that but it’s still fresh and special and new and like a little bird I’m going to foster my new peeps quietly for a bit.

So, I’m sitting here this rainy Sunday in a great state of peace. I’ve got Gregory Alan Isakov crooning me from my record player, I just put chicken in the crockpot to eat on the for the week, I’ve got a mug of hot tea, all the lamps on….NEED I KEEP GOING!?

This is me you guys. No makeup. No contacts. Bedhead. A Colorado mug because I GET TO GO SEE GREGORY AT RED ROCKS IN A MONTH. This is me with a happy smile, enjoying where I am in this minute at this time.

I just thought you should know that I’m not always doom and gloom and sad. I’m just getting better and recognizing sometimes happiness is in the small things.

(Total transparency, there is a filter on this photo. It’s called “I Am Enough.” So I just had to use it.) πŸ™‚

TODAY I LOVE: the sound of rolling thunder outside
SONG OF THE DAY: “The Universe” by Gregory Alan Isakov