20/20: perfect vision

Recently I heard the line, “know the difference between spectacular and significant.” It was said in the context of ourselves. How often do we look at others, in all their spectacular glory, and wish we were different? I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s a lot. I fail to recognize my own significance for the spectacular brilliance of others. Taking that little nugget of thought into account, it has shaped my goals for this coming year.

I write these posts every year and I’m usually good if I complete 50% of what I say I’m going to do. I don’t know if this year will be the same, but here are my hopes and wishes for the coming year:

  • Write more handwritten things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as anti-paper as you can come. As the years go by the less I use the the penmanship Mrs. Miller in third grade worked so hard to instill in me. Also, as the years go on, the more I value receiving handwritten things. It takes time and it takes intentionality. I want to do that. I want to write more and let me people know I’m taking the time to speak to them.
  • Photography. I do say this one every year and every year I fail. I have great camera equipment and now I have the space to use it. I need to be better at documenting things I’m going to miss when they’re gone; my family.
  • Use the library more. And read. Diving into a world not my own brings me so much joy. I need to do it more.
  • Work / Life balance. I need to find it more than ever. This is probably this biggest one. I love my job, but I need to leave more of it in the office.
  • Journaling and devotionals. I’ve found a few that I’ve hand-picked to help me with my anxiety and faith. It’s my prayer they will be the umbrella above my life and help me with all the things I’d like to achieve.
  • Be authentic in my relationships. I’m starting the year in a new romantic relationship and it’s new and it’s fresh and it’s exciting. It’s my hope that I can continue to be ME, the real me, for as long as it may last. I can’t lose who I am. And if I choose the right people, I won’t have to.
  • Being a musician again. Oh how I miss this. All through high school and college music was my job but also my outlet; my place to express. I’ve found my instruments, I’ve ordered a new metronome and method book…I’m ready to get my playing chops back. If I get good enough, maybe I’ll join the community band. Watch out, SGF. I was pretty good back in the day.

Alright. I have one more and it’s a biggie. This is more of a dream goal, one that I won’t get accomplished in 2020, but needs to get started in 2020. It’s going to take a lot of time and a lot of money (that I don’t have) but I’m going to throw this out here. As you all know, I’ve been really enjoying yoga this last quarter of the year. It’s one thing I can do, even with a bad eye, and it’s brought me so much mental silence and peace. I want to be better. I want to get certified in it. And maybe someday…teach it. GASP. I’m trying not to tear myself down for even saying it out loud, because there are about 1,000 reasons why it probably wouldn’t work anyway. But despite those 1,000 reasons I’m still thinking about it. It’s a goal that I’m willing to work towards.

So. This is me. This is the me that is going into 2020 with open eyes. (Hopefully eyes that will get 20/20 vision back.) ūüôā

Happy New Year, my friends. Let’s do this.

TODAY I LOVE: fragrant hot tea

SONG OF THE DAY: “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer

all things may

We are almost halfway through this year. ¬†I hate that my mom was right, that time really does go faster the older you get. ¬†So yeah, May is over (one more day anyway.) ¬†Let’s see how this month broke down for me:

HEALTH: I’m happy to report I was 100% on my macros everyday. ¬†I was never over, although there were a few days that I was under. ¬†I didn’t miss a single mandatory workout (lifting), and only missed one barre class from my bonus workouts. ¬†Win! And it paid off: since the end of January I’m down 21 pounds and 23 inches. ¬†I haven’t starved myself and I don’t workout hours and hours everyday. ¬†The actual scale number is slowing down in it’s decreases, but I’m getting muscle and it looks so much better. ¬†I’m happy with it.

For grins, I almost 100% cut out gluten during the month. ¬†(I still maintained eating my Ezekiel bread every morning. ¬†Not giving that up.) ¬†Other than that, I was gluten free. ¬†I really wanted to see if it made any difference in my belly bloat. ¬†It taught me a couple of things. First, I really don’t eat that much gluten to begin with. ¬†It wasn’t hard to not eat it. ¬†Second, I had very thin crust pizza last night (yes, I considered May over for the most part starting yesterday), and it made my food belly (that I’ve affectionately named Ethel) go CRAZY. ¬†Hello bloat city. ¬†All that said, I think I’m going to try to maintain little gluten/wheat when I have other options available. ¬† Because it did prove to me that it does make me puff up like a fish.

I did get the best compliment this morning. ¬†Two girls who are not regulars at the gym came up to me as I was lifting. ¬†They told me they hadn’t been in in a while and it’s been a bit since they’d seen me. ¬†And they said I looked amazing! ¬†Asked me how much I’d lost and said they could really tell I was working hard. ¬†Anyway, it was so great to hear! ¬†Onward to June. ¬†ūüôā

RANDOM: ¬†Let’s see…I got my hair done. ¬†Only a trim off the ends, but went another step towards my blonde goal. ¬†To all of you naysayers out there, it really is lighter! ¬†I can prove it. ¬†My hair is so dark it takes a long time to get to blonde. ¬† As far as other beauty stuff, I’ve watched way too many makeup tutorials because now I keep wanting to dip my toe in these strange eye combinations. ¬†Today I’m wearing navy and gold. ¬†Yep. ¬†It is disappointing to report that my eyebrows are still hopeless. ¬†I’m not giving up.

Ok, so my hair isn’t fixed in either photo (ignore that). ¬†And also ignore the fact that in the second photo I’m getting ready for bed and have no make up and my glasses on. ¬†Hey, real life folks. ¬†You can’t ALWAYS be a beauty queen. ¬†ūüôā¬†

I’m totally and completely obsessed with blackberries right now. The fruit, not the phone. ¬†Cannot. Get. Enough.

I’ve read 3 books and am currently diving back into the Tudor dynasty as written by the awesome Philippa¬†Gregory. ¬†I think there are 8-9 books total. ¬†It’s going to take me a while.

I finished season 3 of How to Get Away with Murder.  HOLY SMOKES.  That show is on fire.  I very rarely guess how it is going to end.

Work has been crazy nut-job busy.

I think that’s enough for now. ¬†All in all, May wasn’t so bad on me. ¬†I didn’t go crazy. ¬†I didn’t blow up at anyone. ¬†I think I maybe only cried 3 times or so. ¬†That’s a win, folks.

How was your May?

TODAY I LOVE: the song “Every Monday” by Marvelous 3 (an oldie but goodie. ¬†Takes me back to college.)